Babies do NOT come from the stork or the hospital
by xmenfan33
Summary: Logan Teaches a Family Planning ( Sex-Ed) Class, because he's so rational on the subject. Book Four of the Babysitting series. T because it's sex-ed.
1. Friday

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

~Babies do NOT come from the stork...or the hospital~

Chapter One

Friday

" I see... yes... yes we will be there with in the you." Xavier hangs up the phone and turns to Logan. " I'm afraid we must go collect young Mr Maddox from the police station. " Logan turns from his charts, that he had just finished setting up, for the third time today. "...Why?" Logan asks, beginning to become annoyed.  
"It appears he tried to purchase a baby from Bayville Medical. " Xavier states,rubbing the bridge of his nose, and wishing he had more tea. The vein on Logan's forehead stands out far enough that you would almost think it was a second nose. " HE WHAT?!" Logan screams. Everybody in the institute pauses in their current activities, wondering who did what, and thankful it wasn't them.

ooOOoo

" What kind of school are you people running there that an eleven year old doesn't know how children are born,anyhow?" asks the police officer in charge of releasing Jamie to his guardians Logan responds through gritted teeth " I personally run the class on this subject, though I feel lessons need to be far more frequent than once a month." Logan is still rather rattled over learning of Rogue's new-found control yesterday...He hadn't been to bed at all last night. " Well I don't think all your students have been paying attention" The officer replies,Logan opens his mouth to answer,but is cut off by Jamie's " Oh, do you mean your Babies are contagious so don't even look at each other speech The officer raises an eyebrow. The vein on Logan's head reappears. Jamie looks at them blankly. This is going to be a long day.

After agreeing that clearly some of the children haven't been paying attention. Logan usher Jamie out the door, Logan muttering about charts and graphs. The officer stares after them for a moment, still wondering what kind of school the Xavier Institute was to have children that unaware. From what the boy said, he was wondering if they were one of those ultra-conservative religious groups that don't believe in mentioning sex. Acting as though it was a bad word. Not that there was something wrong with groups like that. Just, what other explanation was there?

ooOOoo

Logan drives carefully, his fists white against the wheel, and the forehead vein not calmed down... at all. " So do you want to tell me what exactly you were doing kid?" He finally asks, A few minutes before the institute.  
" Well you see what happened was..." Jamie begins.

~Earlier that day~

Jamie was trying to catch Kaitie so he could play with her. Rogue was being stingy again. She was still mad over the fishing line/ magnet attempt. Which had been over four hours ago. She was no fun,really. He watched carefully,waiting for an opening. At last he found one, Rogue set the baby on the floor next to her,so that she could mix a bottle. Jamie jumped into action, using his newest 'steal Kaitlyn' plan. It was brilliant It was perfect. It involved fishing line. Jamie had tied a Teddy Bear ( not Rogue's he does learn despite popular belief ) to the fishing line and was slowly leading Kaitlyn away. Today they were going to finish their Pirates game... As long as no one caught them.

Ten minutes later he had Kaitlyn sitting on his bed (not near the edge this time) and he had just climbed onto his dresser when Rogue came in. She was beyond angry. Honestly, no one around here knew how to have fun anymore. He ran, of course, and hid in his tree. While he was waiting for Rogue to give up and go out, an idea came to him. If Rogue was going to be selfish with her baby, and no new ones were popping up yet, despite Logan's claims of it happening any minute now, he would go get one of his own.

After Rogue and Kaitlyn drove off, most likely to meet Remy, he climbed down and went to his room. He needed to get his allowance from his hiding spot. A new baby couldn't cost more than a hundred bucks right? He'd probably even have change,maybe. He'd been saving for almost a year, to buy a scooter. But this was even better.

Jamie took the bus downtown and made his way to the hospital. Where he followed the signs to the nursery. First he stared at all the babies in the nursery,wondering if they let you pick of if they just gave you one at random. He's a little concerned that they didn't have any price tags showing. In fact they all seemed to have name tags, maybe these were the sold ones? Then where the available ones? He looks around until he finds a nurse.

He explains to her how he'd like to buy one of the babies she had available, and asks how much one is. She smiles at him and asks where his parents are . Maybe were one of those things you had to have a grown up's permission before you can buy. So he tells her they sent him to go ahead and pick one out. ( He's seen Jubilee, Amara, and Kitty do this to buy CDs so thought it might work) But then the nurse frowned and called the police.

~Now~

Jamie had finished talking,and they were back at the school. Logan sat quietly for several minutes before stating " Jamie you can't just buy a baby from the hospital. You have to have one of your own, or adopt like Rogue did with Kaitlyn." Jamie frowned at this and asked Logan on the way inside how you 'have' one.

Logan ordered the sex-ed curriculum off the internet later that had next day shipment. Clearly there was a lot for these kids to learn. Meanwhile he was going back to bugging, I mean talking to Xavier, Because the classes needed to be more often,clearly. And he needs some of Xavier's special tea. Because he had a headache. He also needed to hunt up a certain three girls.


	2. Monday

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

Chapter Two

Monday

" Why am I here exactly" Remy whispers to Rogue who shrugs. That morning Logan had called and informed Poitr, Remy, John, and Wanda they were needed at a special meeting at the mansion. " I donno. He didn't saying anything to us, 'cept time and place. " Rogue whispers back. She's hoping it's a anti-mutant treat, or a next to impossible to kill supervillain, or a cut in the monthly budget. Anything besides...that.

Logan walks in with his now familiar charts under his arms, as well as a new box in his hands. Yeah this was going to suck. Logan began setting up his charts, oblivious to the groans behind him. The four guests look around with mild curiosity Wondering what kind of threat could make them all groan like that. Maybe Apocalypse was back,or Magneto?

Logan turns around and clears his throat. Before beginning he decides to devide the class by gender. ( It has nothing to do with that boy sitting next to Stripes and Squirt. It didn't. not at all...okay maybe a little) Finally after he has everybody resettled, he begins  
" Babies...are contagious, like a cold or the plague. We must all observe caution. Because once you have one baby in your mist, it's only a matter of time before there are more of them. Because babies multiply. Multiply like mice. One minute, you have no babies, the next you have dozens. As you can see by chart A..( He points to his chart list teen pregnancy statistics) We tend to end up with baby clusters. Now I know our own baby infestation started a little differently than most do... But that does not mean that we can lower our guard.I know many of you do not think it is a big deal, I have overheard many of the young ladies in this class state that if Rogue could handle a baby, surely they could. After all it's Rogue ( Rogue raises her hand,a murderous look on her face) I'll get you a list after class Stripes. (many of the girls gulp ) That theory is flawed! Maybe you assume that it can't be that hard? or that you would have plenty of help. Though again, just look at Rogue how many of you volunteer to watch Kaitlyn, ever. Jamie you don't count I'm just talking to the girls right now.

Babies are also expensive. As you can see by chart B ( pointing to a chart listing cost of living) Babies would cost you all of your free money at this point, plus some. You can't really expect help from your families forever. And they don't get any cheaper as time passes. Don't count of child support either. Just look at the guy your with, he can't afford a baby anymore than you can.

Now I know some of you think your smart and are using precautions. But Precautions fail. Do you know what happens when precautions fail? I'll tell you what happens! STDs happen! unplanned pregnancies happen! And then...and then the Baby Apocalypse begins. All it takes is one baby in your mists to begin a cluster. You may think you are safe,but you are not! Your precautions. will. fail. Maybe not today, maybe not next week, or even next year. But it will happen. ( Logan begins pacing at this point.) As you can see from chart C. It. Will. Come!"  
Remy at this point fazed Logan out. He hadn't been through this kind of crazed rant,since Magneto. He didn't know why he even HAD to be here for this. It's not like he hadn't heard this rant before, from his Tante Mattie AND his father. Logan was really unhinged. Rogue was not going to get pregnant because he kissed her a grand total of 4 times. This was stupid and wait Logan looking directly at him. Crap! He stopped listening! Now what ? " Sorry, sir could you repeat the question." Remy asked. He figured Logan was going to be pissed, but he could minimize the damage by being polite at least.

Strangely, Logan didn't seem upset the he tuned out at all " It's okay kid, I know these statistics can seem scary and overwhelming the first time. I asked if you knew how many times a night Kaitlyn gets up?" Remy panicked. He knew the answer because Rogue had told him, more than once. But what if was a trick question? What if this crazy man thought that knowing meant he'd been sneaking in, which he almost never did. Crap again! He glanced over at Rogue who rolled her eyes and gestured for him to answer . " Umm...I believe Roguey said about 2 to 3 times" Remy answers,waiting for Logan to freak out on him. Apparently it was the right answer though, because then Logan asked " And how many of those late nights are you handling?" Remy was now really confused. He didn't live here. Was he supposed to be doing them? and how? " ummm ... none at night sir" he answers. Logan smiles, and Remy relaxes , though still scared. " And how often do you take over for her, so Rogue can take a nap during the day." Well, honesty hadn't gotten him killed yet... and it may be a yet if Logan thinks about Rogue in Remy's bed; even if he's not. " UHHH. About three or four times a week, when she comes over." Remy answers, ready to bolt if it was the wrong thing to say. It wasn't, Logan returned to the female half of his audience to say " You see girls, even if you find a decent father for your child, the bulk of it will be yours to carry. Think about it" Whoa did Logan just call him a decent baby daddy?!

Remy didn't have to continue to think about it, as Rogue stood at this point, smiled at him, handed Kaitlyn to Logan and left while Logan said " Alright everyone you know the drill. Each of you will hold Kaitlyn for five minutes; without Rogue in the room. Remy you don't get a turn,you already know how much work she is" Logan hands the baby to Jubilee as he continues while the baby is being passed around." I want each of you to imagine what it would be like for her to be your responsibility Remy wasn't sure how he felt about his daughter being used in this mad man's lesson. He knew, however, Kaitlyn was annoyed. He saw the look on her face as she passed him on the way to Bobby. Remy dug out her 'binky', and shot Logan a questioning look. As Kaitlyn began to fuss, Logan nodded at him. He took Kaitlyn and headed out in search of Rogue agreeing on the way out to come to tomorrow's lesson ( there was another collective groan at this). Crap! now he had to do this again tomorrow.


	3. Tuesday

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

Chapter Three  
Tuesday

Everyone settled into their seats ( Remy and Co. included) just before Logan came in. Logan arrived carrying the large box from yesterday, but luckily not the charts. They all hated the stupid charts. He opened the box, and lifted a large teacher's manual out of it, earning groans from the students. Ignoring them, He turned to the blackboard and wrote on it in large block letters " LESSON TWO: BASIC INFANT CARE" before turning back to the 'kids' and stating " Now according to this book, I need to teach more than just the dangers of babies. I'm not sure I agree. If I could get you to understand the danger, then I wouldn't have to worry about it. On the other hand, I've seen the charts ( another collective groan) and so I know we gotta worry 'bout it. The only thing scarier than a baby Apocalypse is a baby Apocalypse when their parents don't know what to do with 'em" He flipped the page on his book ( That seemed to get bigger the longer they stared at it). Before starting First he was supposed to pair them off. He then wrote on the board...

**Partners for the week**

_That Boy uhh_ Remy/Rogue  
Scott/Jean  
Firestarting Boy/ Crazy Girl with Firestarting Boy  
Gaint/ Kitty  
Bobby/ Jubilee  
Ray/ Amara  
Sam/Tabitha  
Jamie/Rahne

Then he states he tried to keep them together if they were, you know, dating or whatever, and he paired the rest... but that didn't mean he wanted them to start dating or anything. Reading from the book again, he states " Okay according to this book, the pairs are 'married' for the rest of the week. You are to help each other fill out this booklet ( holds up one,then begins to pass them out) and to help each other raise your 'baby'. I only have seven babies. Remy & Rogue can just fill theirs out based on Kaitlyn" Everybody blinks at him, as then he begins handing out baby dolls and as one the dolls begin to cry, He tells them to feed their babies to make them stop. Kaitlyn just stares at the dolls, frowning at the closest one. He then tells them the rest of the class will be devoted to learning to change the diapers, before handing each couple a stack.

Remy and Rogue sit in the corner, watching the other couples diapering their 'babies'. Scott is doing rather well,until he picked the doll back up, and the diaper fell right off,causing Jean to laugh loudly. Poitr and Kitty worked together and got theirs right the first time. Bobby and Jubilee got in a loud fight over baby wipes and diaper cream, while theirs remained naked on the tabled in front of them. Ray refused to open the diaper, stating Amara could do it if she wanted to practice,but he thought it was stupid. Sam Changed his baby while Tabitha Chewed her gum and texted. Jamie frowned at Rahne who was changing theirs while threatening him to stay away. John became frustrated when he pulled a tab off, and lit their stack on fire;Wanda rolled her eyes at him and finished changing their doll.

Shaking his head at the others, Remy smiled down at his daughter,and said loudly "C'mon Kaits let's show these idiots how it's done,eh?" He carries the baby to the front and, layning her down on Logan's desk, changes her diaper in less than two minutes,using only one wipe, while the others gather around to watch. Several of them look embarrassed or irritated at his showing off. Scott in particular was annoyed when Remy lifted the baby up to show that her diaper would not fall off,even when she wiggled her legs. Amara and Jubilee laughed at the expressions of the others while Tabitha stated that Remy's shouldn't even count, he'd done it before.

Logan clapped at Remy's demonstration and informed the class " I expect the rest of you to be able to change your dolls the same way, by the end of the week. Extra credit to anyone who can match his time of 96 seconds." Groaning the rest returned to their seats and diapering practice. Remy announced that he believed they could all master it, after all their 'babies' don't even squirm.

After an hour, Rogue asked to be excused to feed Kaitie. Logan released her and Remy, while informing him that for the rest of the week, he expected Remy to stay with Rogue and Kaitie until Kaitie went to bed for the night. He tells all the couples he expects the same from the rest of them too. He says as Remy and Rogue " Your need to fill out the first ten pages tonight,due tomorrow" They then head to the kitchen to feed the baby.

ooOOoo

Remy and Rogue sat on her bed, while Kaitie took her nap, filling out their 'homework'.Remy reading the first pages out loud, while they answered the questions together. " Part one: Welcome to Parenthood: Step one: Congratulations It's a ( choose gender). Now please take a moment to consult your partner spouse and name your baby." Remy paused to laugh at it, before stating " It's a Girl! What do you think,'wife' shall we name her Kaitlyn?" Rogue also giggling says " No I think I prefer Kaitlyn" Remy laughs harder stating " Okay Kaitlyn it is. Okay Step Two: Take a moment to consult with your spouse who will take your 'baby' home tonight. It would be wise to trade back and forth, so that both of you learn child care equally Remy laughs again, filling in that Rogue shall take the baby tonight. While Rogue giggles and states she's sure she can handle it. The questions carry on like this for several pages, with them laughing frequently at their responses. On page ten it reads " Step twenty: You and your partner need to make a budget. Please locate a nearby grocery store and fill in the cost worksheet" " YEAH, road trip" Rogue states, before getting Kaitie dressed and they head to the store. ( They both already knew the prices,but it was a good excuse to go out)

At the store they ran into several other couples. They saw Piotr and Kitty first, Kitty holding the 'bottle' to the baby to make it stop crying before going in. Both looked really embarrassed and were glancing around,hoping no one noticed them holding a baby doll in public. Then they saw Scott and Jean looking frazzed while going up and down the baby food aisle, looking for the jars on the list, both doing their best to ignore their "baby". John and Wanda were in the diaper aisle, their doll wrapped up, so you couldn't tell at a glance if it was real. They were debating between prices on the boxes. Sam and Tabitha were further down the aisle from Wanda and John, their baby was no where to be seen. When Remy asked where it was they both cursed and ran out the door. They found Jamie and Rahne tossing their baby back and forth in the back of the store. Blinking at the pair they swore the two were NEVER allowed to watch Kaitie. After filling out their paper, they bought Kaitie some more diapers (she really was low) and left as Ray and Amara arrived, looking shell shocked from their doll crying the whole way over. Bobby and Jubilee were standing at the front door when they got home, yelling at each other over who had to carry the baby to the store.  
It was going to be a long week.


	4. Wednesday

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

Chapter Four

Wednesday

" Wait, so babies don't come from hospitals?" Jamie whispers to Bobby. They are finally escaping today's lesson, which including the facts of life that Jamie had obviously missed before. He looked truly disturbed by the lesson, but then so did several of the other students. For the most part, it was the three hour lesson on reproduction delivered by Logan that they found upsetting, but for Jamie it was reproduction in general. It didn't help that Rahne had made fun of him through most of the class. Or John getting Logan to end the class by making a comment that got Logan to chase him right off the property. Wanda had followed slowly, and told Logan they would see him the next day.

Now Logan stormed back towards them, they had all hoped to scatter before he returned. Luckily he was distracted, as he stormed towards Xavier's office mumbling something about Fire and charts. It may be best to leave for awhile. Remy and Rogue, along with Kitty and Piotr decide to go to the guys place for the afternoon. Jubilee, Amara, and Tabitha decide to take off for the mall. Ray and Sam both frown at the dolls that were shoved at them before deciding hiding in their rooms was a better plan than carrying dolls all over town. Jamie and Rahne agreed to go to the park, he was still upset. Bobby sits for awhile in the living room,before deciding he should go visit Kurt.

Bobby arrives awhile later and asks to speak to Kurt. A few minutes later Kurt walks into the room they had set Bobby in. " Hey Bobby, what's up?" Kurt asks,pleased to see his friend . "Not much, how're you doing?" Bobby replies. " Oh, I'm great! I haven't had a screaming fit since I got here, and the nightmares are gone too. It's wonderful." says Kurt" So what's new at the institute."

Bobby realizes this is a great opportunity to mess with Kurt,and the best part; he didn't even have to make anything up" Oh let's see...We all learned Rogue has control now ( Kurt pales a little) and Remy has been over everyday,all day. ( Kurt gulps) They spend a lot of time locked in Rogue's room, too.( Kurt begins to shake)" After a minute Kurt asks " Where's Logan?" Bobby laughs saying "Oh, Logan's fine with it. He even paired them for a project this week." Kurt stands and begins pacing,muttering a prayer in German as Bobby watches him in amusement Kurt was so easy. Bobby 's doll picked that moment to start crying. Setting off Kurt... who screamed until Bobby was asked to could still here him as he walked away. That was so worth it. He never thought he'd be grateful for the stupid thing.

ooOOoo

Remy , Rogue, Piotr,and Kitty were playing cards, Kaitie was napping in the crib in Remy's room. " Hey where's your 'baby' " Remy suddenly asks Kitty and Piotr. They look at each other confused for a moment before Kitty jumps up to look for it. They search all over the house, and the car. Kitty beginning to really freak out. You do NOT want Logan mad at you. and he will be mad. because he will think they aren't taking the assignment seriously. Plus who knows what that stupid doll had cost?

They give up in despair twenty minutes later. Kitty flops on the couch trying to think of what to tell Logan. As she watches Rogue feed Kaitlyn a bottle it occurs to her,maybe they'd left it in the classroom? Now all they had to do was sneak into the mansion and look without Logan realizing anythings wrong. And who better to help them sneak in but Remy. He's been doing it forever.  
Kitty smiles her most devious smile at Remy. He knows that look. He's seen it before. ...This can only end everybody. he should say no to whatever she's thinking.

ooOOoo

"Why exactly did I agree to this?" Remy asks as he sneaks Kitty through the vents of the mansion. " Because, I'm irresistible and you couldn't stand to see me upset" Kitty replies. He had resisted. He had. For most of an hour. But there's only so long you can listen to "please" like that. Who knew someone could hold an 'a' for thirty minutes without passing out?.

They come to the area above the room quickly. Rogue was supposed to distract Logan. She said something about starting a pregnancy rumor. He secretly hoped she started it on Jean. That girl annoyed the crap out of him... or Kitty. That would be better. Excellent payback for this. Wait no not Kitty. That would make Logan come looking for her.

He opens the vent and looks out. Good no one's in the room. He gives Kitty the all clear and she phases them down. He doesn't think he could ever get used to that. Remy stands watch while Kitty looks around for the stupid doll. Honestly, how could she forget it anyway? It cries. She looks everywhere in the room, but can't find it. He turns to help her because he wants to go home already when they hear behind them " Looking for something?" They turn to see Logan holding out Kitty's doll.

" MAISY!" Kitty yells happily grabbing the doll. " Maisy?" the other two question,before Logan looks at Remy. He takes the hint and leaves the room quickly. As he walks away,he ears the beginning of what sounds like a really long lecture.

Remy finds Rogue sitting in her room,Kaitlyn playing on the floor. " So how'd you distract him anyway?" Remy asks after drop a kiss on the top of her head and smiling at the baby. " Oh... I told him that i found a pregnancy test in the downstairs bathroom. He totally flipped out for about 2 minutes, then he asked if it had been positive " Remy laughs. " So then I handed it to him. and he kind of calmed down. A little. Hopefully he forgets about it, it was negative after all. " Rogue finishes. After a moment Remy says " ...So where did you get the test anyway?" Rogue laughs. " Oh it was mine. I knew he'd want to see it, so I took one and had it handy. Like I said, I hope he forgets about it. " Remy looks at her blankly. His girlfriend was crazy. that's all there was to it. There was no way it could have been positive They'd never... What if he questioned it further. If he learned it was Rogue who took it, then he would think... Maybe he should just go home for now. No wait, he needed to be here. If Logan was on the war path he needed to know. Because there was nothing worse than getting caught . .


	5. Thursday

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

Chapter Five

Thursday

Remy appeared tired and jumpy when he arrived in class. Rogue reminded him that if looked guilty about something,Logan would think he did it. Not sure what it Logan would blame him for, Remy did his best to collect himself. By the time Logan walked in, he just looked tired. " Up all night?" Logan asks as he pauses at their table. " UUh. I decided it wasn't fair that Rogue has to get up every night with the baby and I don't, so I downloaded a babycry app onto my phone But I think it's broken 'cause it went off every 20 minutes all night. I gave up and turned it off at 5." Remy replies. Everyone in the room looks at him like he grew a second head. Even his girlfriend. Knowing what would come next, Remy pulls out his phone and pulls up the app before Logan can ask to see it. Logan blinks at him for a moment before turning to the rest of the class ." See Remy has dedication. I want the rest of you to download the same app. Whoever doesn't have their doll tonight, will turn it on. That way you're all getting the full experience " Logan states before making his way to the front of the class, completely unaware of the glares that are now directed at Remy.

"Okay, everybody, today we are practicing mixing a bottle." Logan begins handing out small 4oz bottles and sample size cans of formula. Remy and Rogue pull out Kaitlyn's bottle from the ever present diaper bag to show him they won't need one, prompting Kaitlyn to decide she was hungry. Remy quickly mixes and heats it before she can cry. Logan decides that can count as his demonstration. Rogue rolls her eyes when he says she doesn't need one either. Of course she doesn't she been doing this half asleep for months.

Scott and Jean get in an argument over the instructions. Scott is quickly marked wrong after he adds only one scoop. (He just glanced at the picture). Kitty and Piotr both do theirs right the first time. Jamie fills his with powder, forgetting to add water altogether. Rahne, having no desire to help her partner, took their water bottle and drank what she hadn't used. Ray,once again refused to do it, stating it was stupid. Amara ended up making both of theirs. Bobby and Jubilee both managed to finish theirs,before deciding to use them like squirt each every one close to them. John and Wanda also did theirs correctly, but Wanda refused to show Logan her bottle, stating she had no intention of ever using the skill. She went on to say she would breast feed. This prompted a load and ridiculous argument over who could watch for the guys in the room. Remy wisely stayed out of this fight. Piotr only weighed in to say he didn't see what the big deal was. Tabitha left Sam to worry about their work. She was to busy trying to figure out who's test it had been last night. Logan had accused her. Like she'd be dumb enough to ever leave something like that where someone would find it.

Finally Logan declared they were done with the bottles, and before anyone could get away, he informed them all that he hadn't forgotten the test. The boys were all set on the left side of the room while Rahne,Amara,Jubilee,Kitty,Wanda,Jean, and Rogue were set on the right. Logan was staring at each girl in turn, hoping to break either them ot their partner.

He walked up and down,pacing in front of each girl in turn. Rahne ignored him, she didn't see how he could even question if it was hers. Jubilee and Amara were both doing their best to ignore him. Kitty was fidgeting guiltily. Rogue just continued to talk to Kaitlyn,ignoring the tension in the room. Jean looked a little pale. Tabitha was still trying to decide who was that stupid. After looking them all over, Logan told Kitty, Tabitha, and Jean to remain standing. He had everyone else sit back down.

Then,ignoring the now very common collective groan, he began with " I want the truth, do you girls have one of those whatdothecallit pregnancy pacts? Who else is involved." Tabitha opens her mouth, but Logan cuts her off. "I have been trying and trying, but you kids just don't listen! .dangerous. Maybe not all babies. but mutant babies are. Just look at Kaitlyn. Do you really want a houseful of Kaitlyns? You just spent most of the last week taking care of dolls, have they taught you nothing?! How many times am I going to have to give this lecture" At this point out come the . And so starts another long day.

ooOOoo

" That...was a nightmare" Remy states as he flops onto Rogue's bed. She sets Kaitlyn next to him and heads to the bathroom, calling over her shoulder " Welcome to my world." Remy looks at Kaitlyn, who is happily chewing on her fist, and wonders how her mother puts up with it all. The answer comes to him when she returns from the bathroom. She's crazy. He loves her,more than anyone he's ever known. But she's crazy.

Rogue came in carrying a handful of pregnancy tests. " ...What're those for." Remy asks cautiously " you really think I was gonna let the list of backstabbers go? NO! I'm planting these in their rooms. Then I'm tipping off Logan." Remy blinks at his girlfriend She is evil. Man does he love her. But.." Sure he'll be mad, but he won't go postal over a bunch of negative tests." Remy says. Causing Rogue to give that longest,most diabolical laugh he'd ever heard ( and that's saying something, look at all the people he's known). " Ahh, but these tests, they're flawed. If you let them sit for to long in the 'sample' and wait to long to read them, they turn positive. No matter what." Remy now joins his girlfriend in her diabolical laughter.

ooOOoo

Remy sneaks back in after lights out. This was to good to miss, and besides as much time as he spent here lately, Logan wouldn't be able to guess he was here. After they check to insure Kaitie is sleeping, they head out. Remy asks who's on the list, which Rogue pulls out.

_**Girls with big mouths and small brains**_

Amara  
Jean  
Jubilee  
Tabitha

" Who wrote this list?" Remy whispers as they sneak down the hall. " I did after Logan told me who they were." Rogue whispers back." Hmmm. I wish Kitty was on revenge for yesterday." Remy whispers before they part at Amara and Jean's doors. A moment later, they meet again, and do the same at Jubilee and Tabitha's rooms. After meeting the second time, Remy turns to head back downstairs, but Rogue stops him by holding up a final test. At his raised eyebrow she whispers " Did you think I would miss a chance for your revenge either?" Smiling he slips into Kitty's room. Remy slips out of her window while she slips the note she wrote,( while wearing gloves & spraying with every girl in the house's perfume) under Logan's door. Remy was going to be sure to get here early tomorrow. There was no way he was missing this.


	6. Friday again

DISCLAIMER: I do not own X-men Evolution

Chapter Six

Friday

A scream ripped through the mansion at 5 am. Waking the residents (and neighbors) . Rogue just smiled as she put out the fire caused by a startled Kaitlyn. Logan had found the note. Remy, John,Piotr, and Wanda waited in the car down the block, it wouldn't take long for him to call. They were right. Five minutes later,Logan called demanding they all be here with in ten minutes. Nine minutes later they pull into the gate, making sure to look like they had just woken.

Everyone was sitting in the class room waiting for Logan and Xavier to come back downstairs. They had no idea what he was looking for, but whatever it was,someone had managed to upset him. Bad. Worse than that time they thought they saw Sabretooth in the woods bad. Storm and Beast had both wandered in at some point, but both had left when the crashing started. Now everyone just sat there scared. For a moment, Remy wondered if their prank had gone to far. Then he remembered climbing through the vents. And the hurtful things that had been said. Now he's over the guilt.

ooOOoo

They all jumped when Logan slammed open the door. His hair was far more wild than usual, as were his eyes. Remy ,John, and Piotr; having prior knowledge of what was happening, were sitting as far from their partners as possible. Other's weren't so lucky. Bobby and Jubilee were practically on top of each other ( they had been fighting again just before he came in). Scott had his arm around Jean's waist. Ray had been sitting close to Amara, to avoid the dreaded doll. and Rahne and Jamie were literally wrestling on the floor. Sam had just finally work up the nerve to kiss Tabitha. Yeah it was bad.

Kitty was as confused as the rest of them. Remy,Rogue,John,Wanda, and Poitr were pretending to be. Xavier and Storm slowly came into the room ,following behind Logan at a safe distance. The kids realized how bad it was when At first, it didn't even sound like a human language Logan was speaking in. Xavier was kind enough to translate..." It has come to our attention, that some of our students may be participating in activities not approved of in this establishment." Xavier states. When the children all still look confused, Logan breaks back into the conversation. " We looked through your rooms. We know you've blatantly ignored the charts! We know that at least five of you are pregnant!" At this statement everyone looks around, assuming they are one of the only innocent parties.

Logan paces back and forth for a few minutes, laminating the fate of those who disregard the charts. Xavier just sits quietly waiting for Logan to calm back down. Logan calms back down enough, that he is able to state the facts as he sees them. " Last night someone left this note under my door. It says that several of you girls were seen at the pharmacy buying pregnancy tests this week. When we searched your rooms, we found these tests" He holds out a fistful of tests." I have no idea who left me the note. Originally I thought it must have been Kitty, knowing her love of using perfume to cover scents. Now I'm not sure it was even another girl." He now glares pointedly at the group. He's waiting for one of them to break, and confess that they left the note. It was tense. It was quiet. and after ten minutes, when Rogue was starting to sweat, it was to much for John.

He screamed, stood on his and Wanda's desk and announced, in his most dramatic voice." It was I, Saint John Allerdyce, of Sydney, Australia,( why he felt he needed to add this no one was sure) Who is known by my enemies as Pryo, and my friends by John, who left you the note! I felt it was my duty when I saw what I saw to inform the teacher's of this fine establishment of your upcoming peril. We all know, as we have been informed repeatedly by Mr. Logan, that this is indeed a matter of great -" "Thank you, John." Logan interrupts before he can continue in what sounded like was going to be a Logan length rant. Wanda was now staring daggers at her boyfriend. She knew why he did it. Anytime you make him sit still, he freaks out. He would confess to Lincoln's assassination if it meant he could move again. Remy too, was staring at John. He was wondering why Logan chose to believe John about it. But it wasn't his problem, because he saw Rogue visibly relax. John didn't live here, so it was safer for him to be the 'guilty' party.

Logan now was back to ranting about the supposed pregnancies. He lectured about pregnancy in general for almost an hour, before getting to them individually. He seems to have no particular order in who he began with. Calling to the front first, Bobby & Jubilee. He grills them for a few minutes before Bobby breaks and does a really dumb thing, a really really dumb thing . " For Christ's sake man! Leave me out of this, She's not my girlfriend. After this week We're not even friends! You put us together for your stupid baby lesson. That doesn't mean her kid's mine!"

Bobby then threw his hands up and walked back to his seat, to the amazement of everyone in the room. Logan stares at Bobby. An inch from Bobby's face. Everyone is quiet. This could go really badly. The silence stretches until John, who was still rattles from his forced stillness and confession, Screams and jumps out of the window. He didn't bother to open it first. Everyone in the room stares after him. Everyone but Logan. Finally he says in the scariest voice they'd heard from him,ever " You can go now" " Huh?" Bobby questions." GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM! .DISMISSED." Bobby gulps and runs.

Logan now returns his attention to Jubilee. She stares after Bobby, wishing she could escape as well, and planning some sort of revenge over his 'not even friends' comment. Logan just stares, waiting for her to say something. She rolls her eyes and says " Do you think I would be dumb enough to keep a pregnancy test? If I felt I needed one I would go to the women's clinic in town. They give them out for free." Realizing that she had said something that could be taken as she'd been there before, Jubilee suddenly runs. Logan will find her later. He knows where she lives,after all.

Next he calls up Amara, after the thing with Bobby, he decided to only call up the guys he was sure were guilty. Amara, of course denied the pregnancy. Stating it wasn't possible. Logan didn't really believe her, but had her sit back down, not wanting anymore runners. Next he called up Kitty. " I'm, like, not pregnant. Not unless a pregnancy can last for ,like over a year." Kitty says, not bothering to walk to the front of the class. This caused Logan to growl at her unintended confession ( somewhere in town Lance felt a chill go down his spine). Next he called Tabitha to the front. She stood there and stared at him blankly for awhile as he ranted, before informing him she was on the pill. This earned her yet another growl from their increasingly crazy teacher.

Logan calls Jean and Scott to the front next. No one was expecting what came next. From either one of began as soon as they got to the front " We're NOT pregnant, we're not going to be pregnant. At this point I'm not sure I even want kids after this week, and furthermore I-" Scott is then cut off by his now irate girlfriend " Not sure you want kids ?! Well you better get sure! Because I didn't decide on my own to risk it, when we arrived at the pharmacy five minutes after closing! I didn't make this child on my own, Scott Christopher Summers and I'm sure not taking all the blame either!" This was not how Jean had planned to tell him what the doctor had told her yesterday, but she'd gotten angry. How dare he? He was the one always going on about how great it would be to have kids. She storms out of the room ignoring everyone's wide mouthed stares.

Logan doesn't bother to call Wanda or Rogue to the front, he just asks them both if they are involved in this pregnancy pact, that he is now convinced is going on. Both deny any involvement. And he chooses to believe them. They don't really hang out with the other girls aside from Kitty. And neither of them had a test on them, as far as he knew.

Logan was winding himself back up into his speech when Beast appeared. He cleared his throat. Twice. Then when Logan paused stated " The tests you found were not accurate. They are defective and expired. They came from my office downstairs." Logan is quiet for a moment. Then he demands they run the tests again then. On every female in the mansion. Plus Wanda.

ooOOoo

Twenty minutes later a line of angry girl stand in the hall near the infirmary, holding cotton balls to their elbows, while they wait for the results. In the end the only one who came back positive was Jean. Everyone was still surprised by that. They turn in their dolls later that day, and they all hope to never hear anything about them again. This was the worst week ever.

* * *

**A/N: THE END**

**BOOK FIVE (CURRENTLY UNNAMED) WILL BEGIN SOMETIME LATER THIS WEEK. THANK YOU EVERYBODY FOR READING;AND THANK YOU MANGAGURLZ FOR BETA READING. **


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